After being out of the gaming world for awhile, I found myself sucked back in after my brother-in-law bought me a Playstation 4 for Christmas. I probably looked a bit silly trying to remember how the buttons and system worked. After dying a few dozen times, I got myself back in the swing of things and cruising right along. I've always been a fan of RPG's (Role Playing Games) growing up and naturally I went straight back to it. For those who don't play, the game always has a main storyline that you follow throughout the course of playing, but then, there are side quests. These quests are usually pointless errands or deeds to do to get extra money or XP (Experience Points). When I get stuck or frustrated on the main storyline, I go into a spree of side questing. It's a great distraction from the main focus of the game and you can easily spend hours upon hours just completing them.
Let's get back to the real world now. It doesn't matter how big or small, everyone has goals for their lives. Whether it's to finish school, become a professional in a specific field, or to become freelance to travel where you please, each of us have something we want to accomplish. For myself, my end goal in life is to be retired on an island and writing novels like "Murder She Wrote". I can't get to that point without first becoming a paid professional in my field: writing. As you may have guessed, writing is indeed the first step on that path. So, you write anything and everything that comes to your mind, but it takes more than that. It takes continued learning, discipline, self-motivation, and drive for your passion to continue to grow into more than a hobby.
When first starting out, I had such a drive to see myself and my writing go further than it's ever gone before. At first, it wasn't hard to stay motivated and keep pushing forward. My first book was finished within nine months of starting it in 2019. It was an incredible feeling of accomplishment and pride. I felt like I could keep going like this forever. Then it started. I went to write another book just a month after finishing the first, and got stuck two chapters in. At first, it wasn't a big deal and thought stepping away from it for a bit may help, but the time passed and my emotions shifted. They went to frustration: Feeling like the book wasn't going anywhere and feeling like a failure. Then the excuses came: There's not enough time, something or someone else needs my time more.
Instead of continuing to try and figure out why I was struggling, I started real-life side questing. I absorbed myself with my husband and daughter, helping to complete their tasks and making their dreams and visions come to pass. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my friends and family succeed in what they love to do. The problem was I was helping them stay focused and accomplish their goals while I left mine sitting in my office. My energy and efforts were being poured into other people while I let my dream and disappointment sit and simmer on the back burner. The more I helped others to accomplish their goals, the more disappointment bubbled. The bubbling seemed manageable, so I left it on the burner while I continued on my questing.
As of last week, it finally got to the point where it boiled over and exploded. I became angry and bitter that I was helping everyone else set out on their dreams, but mine were going nowhere. It was quite the meltdown and I'm not proud of it, but I needed it. After the water cooled and I could think passed my feelings, I realized I put myself here. I defaulted to what I had done in video games when I couldn't progress through the main storyline. I left it to pursue things that weren't going to get me closer to my goals. Instead of leveling up to be able to take on what I was struggling with, I let it fester and made excuses for why it wasn't happening like I wanted it to. I had to make a decision whether I was going to get back to my main storyline or just let it continue to sit unfinished. It's been slow going, but putting work back into my writing and my goals has me feeling like I'm actually going somewhere.
Growth is hard period, and it's no different with growing your dreams and passions. There's pain when you get stretched to a point you haven't been before, but it doesn't mean you should quit. Taking your craft to the next level and pursuing ways to get you there isn't admitting you're bad at what you do. It's gaining experience to help you build upon what you know so that you can continue forward.
Conclusion: Your dreams and goals matter just as much as everyone else's. While investing time into seeing others thrive and grow, it's important that you invest just as much into yourself. You cannot pour into others what you're not willing to pour into yourself. It'll only lead to burn out and frustration. There is no shame in prioritizing your vision and allowing time to fill yourself. When you give yourself time to progress or level up your goals, it's easier to help others get to the next level in theirs. Give yourself time and grace as you're seeking out this next level, whatever that looks like to you. Stick to the main storyline of your dreams and side quest in moderation, but keep going forward until you've attained your prize!
That's all from me this week! Keep going forward and have a blessed rest of your week!
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